Identifying Our Highest Values - Diving into French Culture as an American
I experienced Paris for the first time when I was 17 years old. While my visit was very brief, I unfortunately left with a negative opinion of French people. As an adult, I never thought about even vacationing in France, so I knew it was God when I felt the nudge to move to Paris.
Thankfully, this was not a Jonah and Nineveh scenario. As God revealed to me where he wanted me to go, he also softened my heart to the idea of becoming a student of the people. I arrived in Paris ready to learn what stood between me and understanding French culture. As a byproduct, I rarely felt anyone was cold or rude. Many conversations with foreign tourists helped confirm that French culture had not changed. I had.
Just like Paul became “all things to all people” as mentioned in 1 Corinthians 9:19, I was learning to put the cultural needs of the French people before my own comfort. I’ve also been reminded over time that when you commit yourself to learn about other cultures, you unavoidably learn about your own. While I became more familiar with how respect permeated all of French living, from formal and informal language to relationships to basic interactions around town, I also saw how being nice was the American equivalent.
One particular conversation with an American tourist helped solidify a few things I had been learning about French culture. I happened to be seated next to her on a plane, so we struck up a conversation. (Striking up conversations is very American, by the way.) She had just vacationed in France for two weeks and had loved the shopping but found the people to be very rude. She explained that her biggest issue was that no one would help her in the shops.
Through listening to stories of her experiences and asking questions, I recognized two things.
First, she did not say “Bonjour,” which translates to “good day,” when she approached people, therefore neglecting what is considered a common courtesy. Second, she went into shops assuming that they spoke English. This assumption that everyone speaks English can come across as disrespectful to people where English is not the primary language. In the eyes of the French people, this tourist was disrespectful for not greeting them and for forcing her own language on them. In the eyes of the tourist, the French people were unkind when they acted coldly towards her.
Building relationships with people from cultures outside your own for the sake of God’s glory requires that you love them the way 1 Corinthians 13 instructs. You can’t cling to your own culture, fight for your own comfort or condemn different worldviews according to your own cultural standards.
Someone, perhaps my French teacher, once told me it takes longer to build a friendship with a French person, but once they are your friend, they will be your friend for life. I’ve found this to be very true, but without the example of Jesus’ perfect love and without humbling myself to another culture, I would not have gotten there.
Here are a few questions to ask and consider in your own life and ministry:
What does it really mean to be kind?
What obstacles hinder you from understanding another person, whether they be from the same culture or not?
Do you prioritize any values over being Christ-like?
Book Recommendation for learning more about French Culture:
The Bonjour Effect: The Secret Codes of French Conversation Revealed by Jean-Benoît Nadeau and Julie Barlow
If you are interested in learning more about the Reach Paris team, contact us.